death and geometry.
(i didn't really get it either.)

everything was so quiet and i looked around and felt my stomach twist up as all my thoughts.
ran together in my head and jumbled until one word was.
indistinguishable from another just sounds or colours or some unidentifiable.
sensation arising only long enough to seem familiar from a situation i could not recall.

i am sitting on a beach just as advertised anesthetised just coming awake words already rolling right out of my mouth. i am sitting here with my hands on my shoulders or my head feeling bones and muscles protruding thinking about how strangely ready for death i was or am or

not really death but just some part where my body stops moving and maybe there's something new but i'm not all that sure.

i can feel it impending as though i am watching someone else in their last seconds accepting it as it rolls over me thinking how oddly reminiscent it is even having never really felt this way in relation to myself.

well i'm not

hedging any bets about the afterlife or letting myself get out of hand in speculation. at the moment i am too busy paying attention (awestruck) afraid i'll miss it getting worked up in the coming down like any other time i've fallen straight on my face.

(don't go looking for help or to the heavens or at your feet just take a deep breath and watch it play out because in the end anyone is only a spectator.)

i can feel a shaking in my wrists and in my cheekbones the sound let out of one ear vision started to shake and i thought i was going to fall but here i already am just lying on the ground

and here comes that big wall of static some maddening blanket of the senses a big electrical storm taking over my brain big fickle immersion playing games as my arms and legs flail for something to grip but my head is frozen over. eyes open wide without surprise just checking out my surroundings

knee deep in other people's thoughts as they crowd around me. i tell them i don't want to be remembered i just want to be straight gone. but no one's listening anyway so i hum myself a song and with one foot out the door i have a little grin just for me kneedeep in snow or static or some kind of crisp little current come to carry me to wherever but god the change is welcome.

(and)
here comes a swell of intensity until i don't even know where or who or here! i am anymore and everything drifts back into focus so geometric this time around i feel the curved surface of my (skin?) body and this is where it is so i don't dwell to much on it just try to take in all the lovely shapes around my head.